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Talk:The Disappearance of the Stonehenge Hippies/@comment-25326117-20160401040035
1): Three notes from other members of the group were discovered singed but fairly intact approximately seven kilometers from the '''original campsite, speculated to have been blown away from the tent, unseen by investigators. 2): After I took her '''there, I drove to Wilma's place. 3): I usually trust Wilma's dreams, and so does everyone else, but lately she's been hittin' the bottle after her old man died last month. 4): Can't say that I'm not a little scared, but '''even for Wilma's dreams that sounds a bit outta there ' '''5): It's' after dark, but the sun's still lightin' the sky up like something pretty. 6): Luckily, '''Lucas brought a couple extra stashes. (You needed a comma after '''luckily). 7): Might as well,' it's' getting boring just writing, and my hand's crampin' up. 8): I thought we'd just take a trip down to this place and have a nice camping trip; but no, they had to bring that stinky-ass grass shit here! (I hoped that combining the two sentences helps, since one should never start a sentence with but). 9): It's times like this when us five are together, away from our families and the city that smokin' relaxes you the most, and makes you think. 10): Julia is fuming smoke outta her ears since '''we '''brought the stuff, but I don't mind. (You forgot the t '''at the end of '''brought). 11): Almost every time she comes around and takes a drag, it makes her loose. 12): Ya know what I mean! (I think the sentence could work without the lowercase''' i).' 13): If she don't brighten up soon, I swear I'll push her out myself! (The sentence sounds like he is making a declarative statement). 14): '''It's '''raining! (Wilma is declaring that it's raining and '''it's '''in this case is a combination of '''it '''and '''is', don't forget the apostrophe since you're combining the two like in let's. That is usually short for let and us). 15): He told me about them before they took him. (I just added they took him '''to make the sentence a little bit clearer to understand. I don't mean to offend). 16): They don't come after ya if '''you're too drunk to see your own hands right in front of ya. (I changed your in this case since you meant you and are, which combined is you're. I also added right in front of ya '''for the same reason as before, to clarify what you meant). 17): '''These past few weeks, I haven't been drinkin', and I've been havin' my future dreams again! However, they haven't come for me yet, not since the others started takin' about soming to Stonehenge. (This '''is used to show one thing, as singular as in '''this week; these '''is the plural form of '''this). (Never start a sentence with but, but you can start a sentence with however). (I am not sure what you meant by soming). 18): If someone finds this, tear this god foresaken place down and is illegible, presumably due to the blinding light." (I learned that godforsaken is one word and it's spelled as I just wrote it godforsaken). 19): As of yet, further investigations into the disappearance of the group of five have been postponed indefinately by higher up European and American authorities. Future research into the event is under pending, but will most likely not be allowed. Due to this incident, any and all overnight camping in and around the Stonehenge structure is illegal and can be penalized. Overall, the creepypasta is pretty good. It just has a lot of grammatical errors involved, that it kind of takes away from the fear factor. I am curious to know what happened to Wilma and her friends and if her abductors were really aliens or something far more sinister. I hope I didn't come across as harsh, I am just doing this review to help you improve on your work. Why didn't Wilma's friends listen to her since she was known to have accurate premonitions?